words

A Relaxing Weekend

This weekend, I went out of town with my family.

It was the perfect getaway! I relaxed outside, I played pool (very badly) with my dad, I visited the next county, and there were so many breathtaking views!! My family is the best, and I have no idea what I would do without them.

I can’t wait to visit next year with my husband (if he agrees) and baby in tow!

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I had an amazing time. Every single amount of stress was lifted off my shoulders. I wish I was still there!

 

 

 

*All photographs are taken by me with a Motorola Droid RAZR M*

speak

Isolation

I feel like lately, I have really been isolated from people.

 

I mean, I hang out with my best friend…but that’s about it.

 

 

I’ve been so sick lately that all I can do is stay home, but since no one ever really comes here it’s just isolating. I don’t have the energy to go out. I don’t have the energy to drive.  I just don’t…anything.

 

This isolation has only made my depression increase. I wish I could be holding my baby now…at least feel it kick.

 

I really do miss being happy. I can’t remember the last time that I was genuinely happy without the slightest twinge of depression. I’m pretty sure I was a child.

 

 

It’s not as easy as just snapping out of it.

 

 

I know things will work out for me eventually. I know things will get better eventually.

 

 

I just wish this isolation was less suffocating.

 

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health

Vent

Endometriosis sucks.

Fibromyalgia sucks.

Bipolar Disorder sucks

Fibro and Endo BOTH  make me feel so sick all of the time.  They make me feel constant pain. Usually I can just smile through the illness and pain, but today I just feel  like crying about it. I could not stay at work today because my stomach is upset from them. I can’t eat what I want. I have yet to find the perfect combination of foods to eat that will prevent my gastroenterological issues.  This just makes me sadder than I already am. More depressed. More angry. More emotional.

Why can’t this be easier?

Why can’t there be a cure for  these issues?

 

 

 

Why me?

 

 

Chronic and mental illnesses really fucking suck.