Pregnancy, words

Not Yet Maxine!!!

Wow, WHAT A DAY!

Maxine gave Marvin and I quite the scare!

 

Today started off like any normal Friday. Me jumping for joy because it is the end of the work week!! (not really, but I was happy!)

I got to work and realized it was bike day. This means the kids were allowed to bring their bikes and trikes to daycare today so they could ride them in the parking lot during outside time. No big deal. Sounded like a lot of fun!

All of my kids who brought a bike, knew how to ride their bike, so I sat in a chair and watched them. They were having so much fun! At this point, school-age children were out helping to push the little ones who could not pedal themselves around. Once the school aged kids went inside, a lot of the kids were stranded! I decided to help out two of the two- year-olds (since I only have two hands) and pushed them around the parking lot for a while since their teachers were not helping them out. I was free, my kids didn’t need any help! That was tiring, but hey, the kids were happy! That’s all that matters! Soon after this, it was time to bring everyone inside, so I put the bikes by the door and took my class inside for lunch.

 

 

Then I had a contraction. Not just a Braxton Hicks contraction. A REAL CONTRACTION.

 

I thought maybe it happened because I was hungry. I mean, I was very hydrated already and I didn’t think I overdid it outside. I ate a wrap and drank more water. I sat down while the kids were eating.

 

About ten minutes later, I had another contraction.

 

At this point I knew it wasn’t just me being hungry. The kids finished their lunch, I took them to the next classroom for their nap. I put their cots down, (so I would not have to hear attitude like I have been all week from the lead teacher in that classroom…I so didn’t need more stress) asked the other teacher in the classroom to sign my kids in and went to the assistant director to let her know what was happening and she told me to go ahead and leave and get the help I needed.

 

I sped home, quickly yelled for my husband, and we sped off to labor and delivery. On the way to the hospital, I had ANOTHER contraction. At this point I was eerily calm on the outside, but internally HYSTERICAL.

 

Once we got to the hospital, things calmed down. I had one contraction while I was there, and luckily, no more after that. Maxine’s heart rate was excellent the entire time we were there and my mom got to hear it too for the first time!

 

The doctor said that I may have overdid it at work today with all the bending and pushing and lifting that I did today, and also, that I need to take it easy. Limited lifting (sorry kids!) and to stay hydrated. I swear I will float away by the end of this pregnancy, I drink so much water!!

 

I drank a huge cup of water while I was there, and have been sucking down these big cups of water since I left L&D and I have been just relaxing like the doctor said.

 

I have never been this scared in my life! Maxine, we love you and can’t wait to meet you, but you need to finish baking first!!

 

 

I am so happy that baby and I are fine.

 

I hope that I don’t have to be back in labor and delivery until AFTER 37 weeks!

health

Vent

Endometriosis sucks.

Fibromyalgia sucks.

Bipolar Disorder sucks

Fibro and Endo BOTH  make me feel so sick all of the time.  They make me feel constant pain. Usually I can just smile through the illness and pain, but today I just feel  like crying about it. I could not stay at work today because my stomach is upset from them. I can’t eat what I want. I have yet to find the perfect combination of foods to eat that will prevent my gastroenterological issues.  This just makes me sadder than I already am. More depressed. More angry. More emotional.

Why can’t this be easier?

Why can’t there be a cure for  these issues?

 

 

 

Why me?

 

 

Chronic and mental illnesses really fucking suck.

health

Working While Ill

As many of you know, I have the flu. The flu season has hit earlier than normal and I must tell you, this is one nasty bug!

 

I am one of a few who have had the flu at work recently. The main person infecting everyone, is the person who came to work while still sick.

 

I understand that you need the money.
I understand that calling out is frowned upon.
I understand that you think you feel ok enough to work.

Still, IF YOU ARE SICK, STAY HOME FROM WORK.

I have gone to work sick, that was because my job was threatened and this was when I had no health insurance. I went to work, and sat in a corner away from everyone the entire shift.

 

Employers need to stop threatening their employees.
Employers need to stop forcing their sick employees to work.
Employers need to encourage sick employees to stay home.

The only thing having a sick employee at work does is infect others.

 

 

This is why I am sick.

words

Hold On

Tonight I was sitting and talking to my best friend, and how things used to be came up.

That’s always a hard subject.

I went through such a hard time emotionally. Not many people realize this.

I attempted suicide once and failed.

I used to cut, and I have scars from it.

Through everything, I see now that I would not be who I am today without the troubles.

I hit rock bottom twice. The second time I was seriously contemplating suicide, this song, saved my life. It made me see that things are not that bad. That everyone has their problems. Good Charlotte is the reason why I am alive today, as silly as that sounds. THIS SONG, is why I am alive today.

 

 

 

 

This world
This world is cold
But you don’t
You don’t have to go
You’re feeling sad, you’re feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
Your mother’s gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know

Your days
You say they’re way too long
And your nights
You can’t sleep at all
Hold on
And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for, but you don’t want to know more
And you’re not sure what you’re looking for, but you don’t want to know more

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don’t stop looking, you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching, it’s not over
Hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you’re doing to me?
Go ahead…What are you waiting for?

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don’t stop looking, you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching, it’s not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Hold on

words

Migraines

Waking up with a migraine was not what I wanted. I took a pain pill and here it is 6 hours later and I am just waking back up. I missed two classes today. I will definitely be at my Calculus class though. I have a test tomorrow because I can’t take it Thursday.

My head is still killing me, this is the second time in just 3 days that I have had a migraine. I really do not want this to start becoming a weekly occurrence again. It had been a full six months since my last migraine.

I am NOT thrilled.

:(